Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
