The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
