Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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