I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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