This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
