my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
