I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize