the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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