im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i am craving dick and cupcakes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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