I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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