There was a lot of him and a little penis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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