I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
