apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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