I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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