Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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