you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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