So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
