Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
