ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
