You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
