I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize