Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
