Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize