why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
