Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
