I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
