Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.