So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.