Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it