Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.