I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.