In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
