Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
