At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize