I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize