Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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