woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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