just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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