nut hugger
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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