i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Me too!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
