is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
