I want to have your abortion
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
