i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
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Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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