I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
