i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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