I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize