needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
