honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
