I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
