is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.