i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I want her autograph on my taint
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂