'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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