Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
