Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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