Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
