I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
