why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
