I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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