You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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