my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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