Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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