The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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