tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
