this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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