Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
