I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're completely useless in the revolution.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
